Pay It Forward

This Christmas season, it is my goal to try and "Pay it Forward".

Let me explain.

In the movie, "Pay It Forward", a seventh grade class was given an assignment which required them to think of something that could change the world, and put that into action.  A little boy, Trevor tried his best to complete this assignment.  He came up with a movement, Pay it Forward.  It started with him.  He had to do something nice for 3 other people.  It had to be something huge- something that that person couldn't do for themselves.  Then the process goes on.  Those three people pay it forward to three more people, and so on.  From doing things like giving a hobo a place to live and some money, to giving a total stranger your car after theirs was crashed, Trevor's movement started in Las Vegas, Nevada and made it all the way to Los Angeles, California.  This truly can change the world.

Now it is my turn to act.  This Christmas I would encourage you all to try and find people throughout the day to help.  It doesn't have to be something big, like giving them your car, but maybe, you could make an impact in their lives.  That is what Christmas is all about.  Christ payed it forward for all of us. He did something that we cannot do on our own.  He atoned for our sins, and without Him, we can't make it back to our Heavenly Father.  So now it is our turn to pay Him back by paying it forward.

Then Sings My Soul

Music.  

It's so wonderful.

After playing the piano for over 10 years, being in school choirs for 6 years, and being ward organist for 2 years, I guess you could say that music is a part of me.
I miss it sooo much!  I miss being in a choir.  Chamber Choir last year was such an amazing experience.

Sooo.....I wanted to continue singing in a choir.  I can't live without it.  After hearing my ward choir perform in church for the first time, I was a little upset.  It's not that they were bad, but it was just not everything I was hoping for.  I mean the last choir I sang in was Chamber, so I can't really compare that to a ward choir.  But I decided that it didn't matter what the choir sounded like, I just needed to be in a choir.
I went to the choir practices and did my best to be involved in the music.  I decided that even if we can't blend well and do all the things that I have been trained to do in choirs over the years, I thought that it would be good to just sing.
Then, this last Sunday, we sang "If You Could Hie to Kolob"  in sacrament meeting.  Right when we started singing, I felt like the heavens opened and I could feel my Heavenly Fathers presence.  It was like He came down to listen to us sing praises to Him.  I do believe that he hears us singing to Him.  And he loves it no matter what it sounds like. That performance, whether good or bad, was a testimony builder for me.  I sang my heart out.

I realized what makes singing in a choir so great- that one moment when we all come together and create music.  That is why I love choir.  When people come together to sing- now that -that is power.  It creates something that can't be created any other way.  Even the great Albus Dumbledore said, "Ah music! A magic far beyond all we do here!"

I just love music.  

There's nothing else to say. 

Ah! It's just wonderful. :)

Here's one of my favorite piano versions of "Come Thou Fount"

Book Of Mormon

Out of all my classes at BYU this first semester, my hardest class is indeed, Book of Mormon.  I didn't expect this class to be my hardest. I am in an English 311 class with just juniors and seniors, but that class is not even hard.  I thought it would be my hardest. I have always heard that the religion classes are hard at BYU, but I didn't quite know how hard.  When I registered, I found a small sized class that seemed to suit me.  My first day of class my teacher lectured us on how we are graded based on knowledge and doctrine, not on our testimonies; it is not seminary.

That is what I expected, but after the first couple days in class, I was lost.  We went over some basic doctrinal things and our class discussions got more and more intense.  We needed to make connections within the Book of Mormon, and connect stories, and know all these facts.  I know the scriptures.  I have read them numerous times before, but I started to feel like I didn't know them at all.  My class was intimidating.  Everyone there was making all of these great comments and they knew all these connections and knew all these things my teacher was asking.  I was lost.  As another girl in my class told me, "I don't even feel like I'm a Mormon.  I don't know anything." 

 I didn't know there was so much you could study about in the scriptures.  I thought that if you just read it and understood what you were saying and believe it's words, then it will help you throughout your life, and you will be blessed.   

Well... we started having assigned readings and had to find precepts and connect different verses to each other and learn from it.  We had to ask why all of these were in the Book of Mormon, why did this specific person write this in there at that time.  We had to know all these events in chronological order and know the order of people and etchers and all these things.  I even had to have an oral test with my teacher one on one about King Benjamin's Speech.  Every thing kept piling on each other and I felt that in order to get it all I had to memorize like all the scriptures, and that still wouldn't be enough. I was just happy I passed my midterm.  

Anyways, I don't want to complain.  I am actually glad that I am in this class.  The Lord knows that this is the class I need to be in.  Despite all of the low scores and frustrations, I have learned sooo much about the Book of Mormon.  I feel that I can make connections between verses and stories now.  I understand.  Even if I don't get the best grade, I know that I am trying, and my testimony has strengthened immensely on the Book of Mormon.  I am grateful that the Lord placed me in this hard class so I can learn.  I started to ask my Heavenly Father in prayer to help me understand the Book of Mormon better and that I can accomplish all the things for that class.  I started to look at the class differently.  I started asking myself how this will help my life.  I now look forward to going to class and seeing all the wonderful things I can learn, even though I know it will be hard.  I am grateful that I am learning these things about the Book of Mormon.

I know that the Book of Mormon is true with all of my heart.  I know that if I abide to it's precepts, then I can learn so much.  I know that all these people in the scriptures are true and that they went through these things not only to help them learn and grow, but to help us learn and grow.  I know that if I study the scriptures, they will help my life more than what I could think.  I didn't think I would learn this much about the scriptures.  I have learned more in these few months about the Book of Mormon than all of my 4 years of seminary put together.  I am grateful that I have this wonderful opportunity to go to BYU and be surrounded by the church.  

The File Room

This story is life changing.  I love this gospel so much and I know that Christ's grace is sufficient for all of us.  He suffered everything for us and I'm so grateful for that.  Read this story.  It's called The File Room...

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “People I Have Liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I Have Betrayed.”

The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told”, “Comfort I Have Given”, “Jokes I Have Laughed At”. Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve Yelled at My Brothers.” Other I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents”. I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards?

But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature. When I pulled out the file marked “Songs I Have Listened To”, I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented. When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts”, I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only and inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.

An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: “No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards.

But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot.

Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self- pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With”. The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that the hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.

But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?

Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me. Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. “No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written in His blood.

He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.” I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

 By: Joshua Harris

FAMILY

"What matters the most is what lasts the longest. And families are forever." -Elder M. Russell Ballard

 I am so grateful for my family.  I am grateful that my parents were sealed in the temple for time and all eternity so that we can live together forever.  I couldn't imagine death being the end of our families. I am so excited for the day when I get to see my Grandpa Shumway and cousins Adam and Amanda again and give them a big hug and tell them thank you for everything they have done for me on the other side of the veil.  I know that they are with me and help me a lot more than I realize.  They may be gone from this world, but they are still with us.  I am so grateful that I can always be with them and for the knowledge that I will see them and live with them again.  The Plan of Salvation brings peace to my soul.  Families are so important in the Plan.  

I am grateful that my dad is a worthy Melchizedek Priesthood holder who stands as the head of my family.  I am so grateful that I have the priesthood in my home.  I know our home is a safe haven where I can come and feel of the spirit.  I'm grateful for the spirit that resides in my home.  "Home can be a heaven on earth when we are filled with love..."  

Families will always be there for you no matter what.  That's what is so great.  My older sister is my absolute best friend.  We do everything together and talk about everything together.  I can always rely on her for anything and I would do anything for her.  I love her so much.  This is what is so great about families.  I am so glad that she will be my sister forever.  We will always be together.  I will be with my parents and siblings, and all my family and my future husband and children forever.  I would be greatly devastated if I was only married for time.  I don't want to part after death.  That is why I am so grateful for temples and that we can be sealed for all eternity.  That is my goal to get married in the temple.  I will not allow any other place but there because I want an eternal family.     

I love my family so much and am grateful for all they do for me.  I am thankful for my parents for watching out for me and teaching me the gospel.  I am grateful for their examples and I want to be just like them.  I am grateful for my siblings and the best friends that they are for me.  No matter how many other friends I make, they will always be there for me and be my friends.  I love my family dearly and want to be with them forever.  

I Believe In Christ, So Come What May

For the past three weeks I have listened to MOTAB's "I Believe In Christ" to and from work every day.  I absolutely love that song.  The lyrics to this song is my testimony.  I always turn it up and fill the whole car with the music so it's like a bursting of the spirit overwhelming the car.  One time I was on State Street and I was listening to this song with my windows rolled down. I came up to a stop light and the car next to me had his windows rolled down.  I looked over and noticed that he was smoking and then he looked at me and rolled up his window.  Haha and then I turned up the music louder.  I just love filling the car with the Spirit.  

...but I absolutely love this song.

"I'll worship Him with all my might, He is the source of truth and light."  There is nothing else I will do then worship Him with all my might.  All my might.  He is everything.  He is truth and light.  He has done so much for me that there is nothing I can do more in thanks than to worship Him with ALL my might.  "I believe in Christ; He ransoms me. From Satan's grasp He sets me free."  This is so comforting to know that He sets me free.  Satan will not get a hold of me because I know that Christ ransoms me.  He will protect me from harm.

 The fourth verse is my absolute favorite.  "I believe in Christ; He stands supreme!  From Him I'll gain my fondest dream; and while I strive through grief and pain, His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."  I believe in Christ so come what may, with Him I'll stand in that great day.  When on this earth He comes again to rule among the sons of men."  I know this is so true with all my heart.  I love my Savior so much and know that He will get me through all grief and pain.  "I believe in Christ, so come what may."  This is probably my favorite single line in all of the hymns.  It is so simple, yet so strong.  This one line has been stuck in my head for the past three weeks and I am thinking about it constantly.  I'm ready for anything to come my way no matter what because I believe in Christ.  He is with me and will help me through anything.  Come what may.  I have no fear.  Christ is on my side.  He is all that I need.

This is the version that I listen to four or five times a day.  I love it so much.  If you listen, turn it up loud so it fills the room.  I promise that you will feel the spirit.

Don't Worry

Sometimes I feel that I worry too much.  I worry that things won't work out the way that I have planned.  I worry about my future.  I worry that I am not doing enough now to prepare for my future.  I've learned one thing...don't worry.   Heavenly Father loves me too much to make me worry day after day.  I've learned to put all my worries and fears on Christ.  He will take care of them for me.  I don't ever have to worry because He's already been through everything that I have and everything that I will go through.

Let go of all your miseries and let God take them out of your life.  He will never fail you.  He will always be there for you, no matter what mistakes you make.  He will always love you more than you can even comprehend.

"When we have nothing left but God, we discover that God is enough."

~unkown

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things; yea, behold, many mighty miracles we have wrought in this land, for which we will praise his name forever."

Alma 26:12

This is one of my favorite scriptures in the Book of Mormon.  It reminds me that I don't have to worry.  I am weak, but through Christ I am strong.  He makes me strong.  I can do anything I put my mind to because I know that God is right along with me... and He can do anything.

All Eternity

Today in Young Womens we talked about temple marriage.  I promised that I will marry in the temple and I am going to keep that promise no matter what.  I have set my standards and I will not settle for anyone less than my expectations.  I will marry a returned missionary worthy to take me to the temple.  We will be sealed for all time and eternity and will be able to live with our family and children forever and ever.  I am so excited to start my own family and take them to the temple.

Christ's Love

Life is hard.  We are all meant to go through different trials and challenges.  You may wonder why Heavenly Father would allow certain things to happen to you?  It is because He knows that you are strong enough to go through these trials and learn and grow.  He loves you and will never leave your side.  

Christ knows you perfectly and because of the Atonement, he knows what you are going through.  He has felt your pain and sufferings.  He can help you through anything if you only let him in your life.  Turn your life to the Lord and he will carry you through the storm.  

He loves you so much and wants you to return to your Father in Heaven.

"The Lord is my light; the Lord is my strength.  I know in His might, i'll conquer at length.  My weakness in mercy He covers with power.  And walking by faith I am blessed every hour."  

Hymn #89 The Lord is My Light

A Lesson Learned

Yesterday at school I saw a girl in my grade that was pregnant.  I felt sick.  I put my hands over my stomach and immediately started thinking, "Why would someone get pregnant during high school?  She just ruined her life.  How could you be so stupid?"  I started getting mad and feeling very uncomfortable.  Then I started watching her and watched everyone around her.  I noticed as people walked past her, they did the exact same thing that I did: judge.  I watched people's reaction as they stared.  I could tell that they immediately started to judge her because of her appearance.  I looked at her and noticed she was sitting by herself.  She could tell that everyone was looking at her as they walked past, but she didn't look back up.  She seemed scared and worried.
All of the sudden I had a change of heart.  This overwhelming sense of love overcame me.  I remembered "the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."  She is a child of God and Heavenly Father loves her just as much as He loves me.  I know that He loves me so so much and so He must love her that much too.  I decided that I should treat her like a daughter of God and not be so quick to judge.  I was wrong to have gotten mad that she made a bad decision.  I didn't feel bad for her, but I felt love for her.  I knew that she made a mistake, but Heavenly Father still loves her unconditionally.  I noticed that a couple of girls went and sat by her.  I listened in to their conversation and she was actually quite happy.  She said that all of her teachers, counselors, and the administration has worked well with her and are trying to help her. 
 I learned that it is important to remember that it is not our place to judge others.  We learn that it is not appropriate to judge, but I think that most of the times we don't realize that we are judging.  It happens all the time.  When I see someone, I automatically look at what they are wearing and I make an assumption off of what I see.  No matter what someone looks like, they are a child of our Heavenly Father.  Heavenly Father is the only one that knows their hearts.  I need to remember that everyone is a child of God, so I should treat everyone like a child of God and see them as His children.      

I am the Chosen One

"These are dark times, there is no denying.  Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today."
-Rufus Scrimgeour (Harry Potter)

Satan is at his strongest today.  The Lord needs valiant servants to fight Satan and his army.  Sometimes I question my strength.  Do I really have power to conquer Satan?  Can I make an impact on this world?  I found this quote that really helped with this.

"You are here now because you were divinely elected to be here now.  The simple fact and plain truth is that Mary and Eve and countless other glorious women as well as countless spiritually resplendent men were not assigned to this dispensation.  We were."-Sheri Dew

We were reserved for this dispensation.  Heavenly Father saved us to come into the world at this time.  He didn't send Moses or Nephi here today, he sent me.  He sent you.  We have a great job here to accomplish.  Satan is strong, but I need to be stronger.  I was chosen to come now because Heavenly Father knows of my strength.  He knows that I can help to conquer Satan.

I am the Chosen One. (Harry Potter again)