We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve

Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Bill:  Are we talking about anyone specific?
(Charlie nods)
Bill:  We accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Never settle for anything less than what you are.  You know your standards.  Sometimes we may think that we don't deserve someones love.  We feel as though we aren't worthy of it. 

"The feeling of being accepted by someone we love is a basic human need.  Being accepted by good people motivates us.  It increases our sense of self-worth and self-confidence.  Those who cannot find acceptance from desirable sources often seek it elsewhere.  They may look to people who are not interested in their well-being.  They may attach themselves to false friends and do questionable things to try to receive the acknowledgement they are seeking...."

It is good to feel accepted by others.  This is something that I've noticed lately about myself.  It makes me happy to know that I am loved and accepted, but I've noticed that I feel hurt if I do not feel accepted or loved. I can do something for someone that I think was plainly out of love and feel like they don't realize it or thank me for what I did for them.  I wanted to be appreciated for what I have done.  I wanted to be loved back.  Then I saw this quote that changed my perspective.
"Women should be women and not babies that need petting and correction all the time.  I know we like to be appreciated but if we do not get all the appreciation which we think is our due, what matters?  We know the Lord has laid high responsibility upon us, and there is not a wish or desire that the Lord has implanted in our hearts in righteousness but will be realized, and the greatest good we can do to ourselves and each other is to refine and cultivate ourselves in everything that is good and ennobling to qualify us for those responsibilities." -Eliza R. Snow
What matters?  I need to stop acting like a baby and want to feel loved all the time.  I don't need to be worried about what others think of me.  I don't need to be appreciated for what I've done.  Heavenly Father knows what I've done.  He knows what I have done for others, and he appreciates me for it.  He accepts me.  He loves me.
Now back to The Perks of Being a Wallflower quote.  "We accept the love we think we deserve."  How do you think Christ feels.  He is offering His love to us.  He loves us no matter what we've done.  The thing is, do we accept His love? You may think that you don't deserve His love...and you are right. Does anyone really deserve Christ's love?  How can a perfect being offer so much love for an imperfect being like ourselves?  We don't deserve His love.  But, we can accept His love.  His love is pure and perfect.


"Love means that you accept a person with all their failures, stupidities, ugly points, and nonetheless, you see perfection in imperfection itself."

This is the wonderful power of the atonement.  We may not be worthy of what Christ did for us.  But we need to allow the atonement in our lives.  We need to realize that we are imperfect, but it doesn't matter.  Christ paid our debt.  He paid it in full.  His grace is sufficient for all of us.  How wonderful is it that Christ did that for us? Once you learn that you don't need to feel accepted by others to feel appreciated, and to just accept God's love (not because you deserve it, but plainly because He loves you) your life will be changed.  When we love others it is because it is a pure love.  It happens when we see perfection in imperfection.  Love is the most powerful thing in the world.  It is the reason why we are here.  If nothing else matters, remember that God loves you!  God's love is there for you.  He's trying to just give you all His love.  Accept it.  Let the power of the atonement change your life.  It has changed mine.

Just Be Patient

Last night I decided to download the conference talk, "Continue in Patience"  By Dieter F. Uchtdorf to listen to at work today.  Little did I know that it was going to be exactly what I needed to hear.  It was such a blessing.

Patience is something that I have been trying to work on lately with many different trials in my life.
I think it is something that all of us could improve.  We all want things in our lives, answers to prayers, and problems to be resolved, but sometimes we just have to be patient.  And it's hard.

"Waiting can be hard.  We live in a world offering fast food, instant messaging, on-demand movies, and immediate answers to the most trivial or profound questions.  We don't like to wait.  Some even feel their blood pressure rise when their line at the grocery store moves slower than those around them.

Patience- the ability to put our desires on hold for a time- is a precious and rare virtue.  We want what we want, and we want it now.  Therefore, the very idea of patience may seem unpleasant and, at times, bitter."

I didn't realize it before, but impatience is a symptom of selfishness.  When I am impatient I do want things my way now in my time, but that is being so selfish.  It's not all about me.  Only Heavenly Father knows what is best for me so if I have the patience to see his will, then I won't be as selfish and I can focus on being more selfless and serve others around me.  That's something I need to work on.

Uchtdorf said that he learned that patience is far more than simply waiting for something to happen.   Patience requires actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn't appear instantly or without effort.

"There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears.  Patience means active waiting and enduring.  It means staying with something and doing all that we can-working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed.  Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

Sometimes I think that when I have to be patience, all I have to do is wait.  That seems so boring!  How can I expect myself to be patient if I'm not doing anything and just waiting for God to do it all?  That's not how patience works!  I need to endure my trials.  I need to try my hardest.  I need to exercise my faith.  I need to never give up.  President Uchtdorf said, "Never give up on anyone.  And that includes not giving up on yourself."

He talked about how the children of Israel waited 40 years in the wilderness before they could enter the promise land.  Jacob waited 7 long years for Rachel.  The Jews waited 70 years in Babylon before they could return to rebuild the temple.  There are so many other examples of people who had to endure patience.  We all have to wait.

Patience requires faith.  We need to remember that we receive things "line upon line, precept upon precept."Patience is a process of perfection.  "It means staying with something until the very end.  It means delaying immediate gratification for future blessings.  It means reining in anger and holding back the unkind word.  It means resisting evil, even when it appears to be making others rich."

Finally, patience means accepting that which cannot be changed and facing it with courage, grace, and faith.  We have to submit all things to the Lord.  We just have to.  There's no other way.  We need to stay firm and steadfast every hour of every day even when it is so hard to do so.

Whatever you are going through,  whatever pain you are feeling,  remember that it's not permanent.  Keep moving forward.  Be patient.  Things will work out.  Never give up.  I know it's hard.  I know what it's like to want to give up.  God doesn't give up on you.  He is just waiting for you to realize that He has so many great things for you if you just wait!!  I know you may want answers to your prayers now.  I know that it is hard.  Immerse yourself with good things and good people.  Stop being so selfish. :P God knows what you need-when you need it.  Just trust Him.  Have hope for the future.