This past week I was thinking about the time when I moved out of my house to come to school. This was very hard for me. My parents don't know this, but for the first couple weeks after I moved out, I got really homesick. I would cry myself to sleep some nights. I felt like such a baby, (especially since my family is only 25 minutes away) but I really missed my family. When I would go home to visit, as I was giving my little sisters and my parents hugs goodbye, I had to try and hide my tears. It was so hard for me to leave them.
It was especially hard because I have 4 younger siblings and I really wanted to be a part of their life as they grew up. I wanted them to remember me when they look back at their elementary years. I don't want their childhood memories of me as just an older sister who moved away to college and would come home sometimes but not very often. I really want to be a part of their lives. I miss being able to see them come home from school and rush through the door and just give me hugs. I miss laughing with them at the silly things they do.
I also miss my best friend. My older sister and I have always been roommates. We always had a good relationship. We would play barbies and dolls growing up and sneak downstairs in the kitchen when mom and dad were watching a movie at night. We would play piano duets together. But after high school is when she really became my best friend. The summer after high school I was so grateful that I had an older sister to go to the singles ward with. I have always looked up to her and I love being with her. She is probably the one person that knows me the most besides my Savior. She knows everything about me. She knows my weaknesses and strengths. She has seen me in my worst and my best. She has always been there and she always will be there. I really miss her every day. She calls me about every day. I really miss her. I miss being able to go on drives with her and crying or laughing or singing at the top of our lungs. I miss being able to come home and just talk to her. Everyday I wish I could be there for her. I wish I could be there when she needs me.
It is hard to not be able to go home to my family. I miss seeing my parents and getting their advice and help. I miss my siblings.
Well now I just feel like a big baby. But I have learned so much through all of this. I have really learned the importance of families. I have cherished the moments I get to go home and spend time with my family. I cherish every hug from my little sisters. I am so grateful for my family.
I know that my family can be together forever. That alone is what keeps me going. Even though I don't see my family every day, I know that I can be with them forever. I am so grateful that my parents were sealed in the temple and that we are all sealed together.
Even though sometimes I feel so alone, I know that I am not alone. I am grateful for my family on the other side of the veil who I know are watching over me. I have felt their presence and their love. I cannot wait to see them again. I am grateful that Christ is my elder brother. I am never alone because of Him. I am so grateful for Him everyday.
I am so excited for the day when I can have my own family and have the priesthood preside in my own home. I am excited to be a mother and I hope that I can be just like my mother and follow in her footsteps. I hope that I can share with my children the love of my Savior.
I am grateful for my family and their support in my choices and actions. They give me strength. I love them with all of my heart. I am grateful that this gospel is centered around families. I think I didn't realize the importance of my family until I didn't have them everyday. They really are such a great strength. I am so grateful that I get to be with them forever.
