Saturday, October 12, 2013

Don't Cry

"Hold on, let it pass you by; Hold on don't quit, you've got the angels by your side.  Your heart is strong enough to see this battle won.  Your faith will make the morning come.  Your faith will bring the rising sun."

This last Thursday and Friday night I have had the most wonderful opportunity to be a part of the BYU's Homecoming Spectacular and sing in the Women's Chorus.  Thursday night's performance was amazing, but last night was something special.  During Fridays class rehearsal Sis. Appoline said what an honor it is for us to sing in this program.  As the Homecoming Spectacular is held in the Marriott Center, Sis. Appoline mentioned that we already sang for thousands of people Thursday night, and we get to sing for thousands more tonight.   That really hit me.  In my patriarchal blessing it says that I will bless the lives of those who hear me sing and that I will bring them peace and joy.  I always wondered what difference I would make in a choir full of 155 powerful women.  But that's the magnificent thing about it!  I get to be a part of this amazing choir full of these amazing singers.  It's not about how I can touch the audience myself, it's about how I can touch the audience with the 154 women singing behind me.  Singing in a choir is about unity.  I cannot describe how truly amazing it is when so many people come together with the same goals and we work together to make something so sacred.

Before our concerts, Sis. Appoline gives us a prompt and tells us to find a trigger that will set off our heart as we sing.  A performance isn't about getting on a stage and just singing a song.  It's about becoming one and sharing a message through your heart by singing.  We have to sing from our heart, or our performance means nothing.  So our trigger is that we need to think of someone we love and dedicate our songs to them.  Someone we would give our heart to.  Thursday night, this is what I did.  I thought of different people whom I love dearly and I sang to them.  Friday night was a little different.  Before the concert, I was sitting in the hallway in the Marriott Center, reading my patriarchal blessing.  I decided that I wanted to bring peace and joy to the audience that night.

I got on stage and looked out to the thousands of people sitting there anxiously waiting to hear us.  Then, we sang to them.  I sang from my heart.  I wanted all of them to feel my testimony through the song.  That's what I did.  Then, when we got back on stage for the finale, we were about to sing "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing" while the Cougarettes danced in front of us.  Nathan Pacheco, who was the guest artist got up and introduced the song.  (If you don't know who Nathan Pacheco is, go look him up.  He is soo amazing!  He also is a BYU alumni and was in the Men's Chorus in 1998)  So we started singing.  "Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy praise!"  Then the song hit me. I even started getting a  little teary eyed, it was amazing.

Then for the finale, Nathan Pacheco came back on stage and we had the most wonderful opportunity to sing his song "Don't Cry" with him.  It was an experience I will never forget.  Before we started singing, he was introducing the song.  He gave us students some council.  He said to pay attention to the burnings within us, because they won't always burn.  He said to do the things we feel are right. We could see on the teleprompter what he was supposed to say, but then he started saying something that wasn't on the teleprompter.  He started bearing his testimony.  I don't remember what he said, but whatever he said was exactly what I needed to hear.  I started crying.  I could hear the girls behind me sniffing their noses too.  Then Nathan said, "Now we are going to sing, "Don't Cry"" and we all kind of chuckled cause we were all crying!

As he started singing I realized something.  The words of his song spoke directly to me.  I had been praying and praying for the past month and have felt like I wasn't receiving a direct answer.  I was starting to lose hope.  Then Nathan sang, "Don't cry, don't cry though hope seems gone.  Don't cry this battle still can be won.  And all these tears that blind and cloud your day will fall to the ground.  Your bitter fears will fade away."  I had been praying and praying and I never even realized that my answer was right in front of me the whole time!  We have had this music for a while and had been rehearsing it, but I never actually thought it was exactly what I needed.  As we joined in on the chorus we sang, "Hold on, let it pass you by; Hold on don't quit, you've got the angels by your side.  Your heart is strong enough to see this battle won.  Your faith will make the morning come.  Your faith will bring the rising sun."  That was when I wasn't singing to the audience anymore.  I didn't have a person in my heart I was singing to, because right then, I felt like God was singing to me.  My voice just got overpowered with all of the angels that were by our side.  I realized that I was the one that needed these songs sung to.

It really is quite amazing when you realize that your answer is right there in front of you.  As I was walking home I had two different people stop me and thank me for my performance.  They said that Women's Chorus was amazing tonight.  I had brought peace and joy to them!  I was so happy!  When I got back home after a very tearful walk, I sat down on my bed and opened up my scriptures.  I've been bad lately about really studying my scriptures.  I still read them every day but lately I've been reading just so I can read my scriptures every day.  But last night I was determined to study them and get something out of them.  I opened up to Ether 12.  It happened again!  The answer was right in front of me the whole time in my scriptures!  It says that hope cometh of faith.  Faith is things which are hoped for.  Have faith in God, and He will make weak things become strong.  I needed that faith.  I thought back to the chorus of that song.  My faith will make the morning come.  I can't quit, because my heart IS strong enough.  I can win this battle and my faith will bring the rising sun.

Then, it gets even better!  I turned to where I was normally reading in Alma 29.  Then in verse 9 it says, "I do not glory of myself, but I glory in that which the Lord hath commanded me; yea, and this is my glory, that perhaps I may be an instrument in the hands of God.."  Then I thought of this in a way that I never have before.  I literally can be in instrument in the hands of God.  My instrument is my voice.  I knew that Women's Chorus is where I need to be.

Now I have had the opportunity of a lifetime to sing in front of thousands and thousands of people.  I also am truly blessed to be in Women's Chorus this year, because as it is Sis. Applonie's 10th year anniversary of teaching, we are releasing an album.  My voice is going to be in that CD that people across the world can hear.  The best part is, is that album is going to be full of religious songs.

If you are reading this, thank you.  My heart truly humbled last night.  I gained faith and hope.  If you are in need of a little hope and faith, listen to this song.  It's not the same as being a part of it in a live performance and feeling the spirit and power there, but this song is just simply amazing.